Setting: Interstate 520, near Augusta, Georgia, 1993
Andrew needed to Augusta to pick up a Driver, at a golf shop where he ordered one. Jesse and Keith decided to go along with him, just to get out of town.
The shop was near the Augusta Mall so they decided to stop by and kill some time. They ended up eating a late lunch at a Lonestar. Nothing wrong with a couple of steaks and a baked potato and a “Texas Rose”, which is simply Lonestar’s version of Outback’s Blooming Onion. They finished their meal, and since Jesse and Andrew had a few drinks, Keith offered to drive them back home.
Keith was always driving, and he pulled out on to Interstate 520, this portion was better known locally as the Bobby Jones expressway. He fiddled with the radio as Jesse kept trying to poke him to get his attention. They were headed to Highway 78 when Keith started messing with his ear.
At one point, Seth and Josh gave Andrew some mushrooms that gave him a fairly bad trip that caused him to freak out one night. Ever since then he was overly sensitive to his heart beating faster. Thus, more times than not, causing his heart to start beating faster. Well, he would start checking his pulse either on his wrist, or on his neck, and whenever he would do this, his group of friends would signal to each other by messing with their ear. Keith was driving on and would look over and catch Andy checking his pulse, and he’d mess with his ear.
Keith looks over at Andy and he’s got the eyes of Satan looking at him and says “I’m having a heart attack, take me to University Hospital”. Keith looks over his should with a weird look on his face back at Jesse, who’s starting to cackle. Keith tries to blow him off by saying, “we’ll be home in a little bit and you can lay down”. This wasn’t the first panic attack, but it was most likely the most dangerous. Again, with the eyes of Satan he bellows, “TAKE ME TO UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL”. “Alright man, chill out, I’ll get off on this exit”, Keith says trying to calm him down. “CROSS THE GOD DAMN MEDIAN NOW” Satan Andrew demands. Keith puts on his flashers, pulls over to the left hand side of the road and starts to cross the grass covered median and is waiting for a break in traffic to head in the opposite direction. “DRIVE FASTER”, Keith looks at him, and says I’m doing 80, we’ll be there soon. “FASTER”. Keith presses his foot down to the floor. That V-8 engine had seen better days and has a bit of whine to it. Not the sports car, “I’ve got a lot more” type of whine, but nevertheless, he’s pushing it faster. The dash only had 85, on it was pegged, as they were blowing past cars.
As they approached the correct exit, and a small blue light flickered in the rear view mirror. Keith is thinking “Oh Fuck”, while Jesse rolls down the window and drops something out the window. Keith asks, “What the fuck with that”, Jesse sheepishly responds “grass”. Keith starts to yell at them both like he’s their Daddy and Jesse just sits back down in the seat trying to let it absorb him as Andy grovels. “HOSPITAL NOW”.
Keith turns into the Hospital’s campus and the blue lights in the mirror are much larger, as the South Carolina State Trooper in a Ford Mustang had finally caught up to his bumper. Keith wheels around to the ER and Andrew hops out with the car still moving clutching his chest and running in. Jesse says, I didn’t throw grass out the window, I threw some ACID out the window. Keith pulls into a parking spot and the State Trooper via his loud speaker “Slowly get out of the car”, Keith looks back at Jesse and says, “If I go to jail or get a ticket, I’m fucking both of you up.”
Keith gets out of the car and follows the new set of instructions now coming from the Trooper who has his hand on his weapon ready to draw. Jesse slides out from the back seat and they each have their hands against the side of the car.
The trooper asks if they have weapons, or drugs, and they both say “No”. He gives them a quick frisking and then says. “Son, do you know how fast you were going?” Keith simply says, “Well, I know it was pegged at some point, but no sir I do not.” The trooper, a mid 40s black guy with a little gray hair sneaking out of the bottom of his hat, which matched his moustache and goatee said. “Ninety-three, Ninety-three freaking miles per hour is what I topped you out at, care to explain yourself?” Keith said “my buddy said he was having a heart attack and was acting like he had the devil inside of him demanding me take him to the hospital”. The trooper, said “I see”, let’s walk inside. The trooper parks his car, and the trio walk in to the desk and he asks the pretty blonde behind the counter, what is the status of “Andrew Dilfer?” Keith speaks up. “Dilger, his last name is Dilger, with a G”. She says, “They took him right in, I don’t have an update”.
They sit and wait, and eventually (about 30 minutes later), Andrew comes out, with his red polo shirt drenched with sweat. Evidently, the steak sauce that he put on his steak had some form of pepper/ingredient in it that he had an allergic reaction with.
The trooper understood that it was a medical emergency and let Keith off with a warning, winking at him to take it easy and slow it down on the way home. As he’s walking out the door, Keith says “Sir, how fast were you going”. The trooper, stops, rubs his goatee for a second, and says “mine was pegged too, but mine says 120”. Keith says, “Yeah I know, another friends dad has one. They will fly.”
They get back in the Blazer, and head for home. Keith says, “Don’t say a God Damn word until I say something first.” About halfway home, Keith turns the radio down and asks “so was it the sauce on the steak or the acid that fucked with your mind?” Andrew says “What acid”, as Jesse erupts in laughter from the back. Andy starts yelling at Jesse and then looked at him and says “man that was a fucking trip”. Keith pulls the new Dodgers hat he bought at the mall down on to his head and puts some more weight on the gas pedal. He wants this trip to end. Thank god they didn’t give him a tox screen or a drug test.