This is a true story. The events depicted in this blog took place in various remote southeast locations between 1972 and present day. At the request of the perpetrators and the innocent alike, the names and locales have been changed or altered.
You can call me Waylon think “The Dukes of Hazzard”, because I’m the balladeer of these stories though you sure as hell don’t want me singing, I’m sure as hell no Waylon Jennings. For you French speakers (not me) out there the correct word would be raconteur, though a more accurate example would be Kevin Arnold of “The Wonder Years” fame with Daniel Stern doing the narrating. Waylon works better because quite frankly it’s a much cooler name than Kevin.
These tales, blurbs, snippets and short stories, have been recounted over the years and like the beers that were consumed at times might have been miscounted.
What is this exactly?
I’ve been told by more than one person and by a certain person numerous times that I have a way with words or a knack for storytelling. I’m not sold on the idea but I’ve had worse ideas than this.
So this will be a place to store it all. It won’t be pretty, if my English teachers read this some might be amazed and of course some will frown at parts of it because I haven’t made any donations to the Fraternal Order of the Grammar Police. There will be the usage of first person, second person and quite possibly fifteenth person. Time will tell. It’s all about telling the story and if at any point you are confused, then feel free to email me. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.
Some posts will be pretty damn blunt, and some will include a few four letter words, and six and seven words too. All of the bases have to be covered. I’ll protect the innocent and guilty alike and just start the engine and see where I end up.
Growing up in a small town has its pros and cons like anything else. It seemed like people knew what color your boxers were before you even put them on in the morning. Of course, what else did middle aged women have to do when their husbands paid more attention to their yards or their golf game? One guy took a pro to his senior prom. She wasn’t a pro at that point but dammit if she didn’t become one. I’m sure there were a few cons as well.
There should have been a helluva a lot more (cons) if truth be told. If this group were enrolled in high school in this day and age any number of events would have had the POE-LEASE called. I guess we grew up in the right era/decade. The 60’s or 70’s would have been fun, but a few would have done even more drugs and to hear stories told of that era, this group was a bit tame at times.
Yes, that was an homage to the great Fred G, Sanford portrayed by the even greater Redd Foxx(he was a funny grumpy old man). His show wouldn’t cut in the political correct society of today, which I have referred to as the pussifcation of America. They cancelled “Dads”, Sanford/Foxx, George Jefferson/Sherman Hemsley and Archie Bunker/Carroll O’Connor would have made people cry. The political correct police would likely run Norman Lear out of Hollywood which would certainly be a shame.
The same could be said for the rowdy students of the past would simply be wearing blaze orange as opposed to being allowed to grow up in the call the cops for fisticuffs world that we live in today. Speaking with an old friend/teacher, he said that when he started teaching and up till about the first 15 years when there was a fight, you simply let it go for a bit so whatever point that needed to be proven was proved before breaking it up, they basically would shake hands and go on about the day, but now the protocol was to break it up and send them to the office that might resort in the law being called.
I’m sure with the collection of local Poe-lease officers in mind from back in the day, if there was a school resource officer, he’d end up handcuffed on more than one occasion and I’m sure there would be some tales of an errant squad car bounding through town.
Oh and at some point, I might decide to proofread all this.
Well, this is it for the first post. Hope you enjoy.
 firstname.lastname@example.org really, do it. If you are confused about something, then feel free to ask.